25 Things I Wish I'd Known Before My Hysterectomy
(From Someone Who's Been There)
Hi, I’m Rachel, the Founder of Rayse Community. We are a peer support community that connects people going through the same health issues, to ease feelings of loneliness.
I had my hysterectomy and went into surgical menopause when I was just 30 years old. Faced with major surgeries, the inability to have more children and menopause 20 years too soon, I felt lonely…. so I have built the community I wish I had.
If you have found this blog on things I wish I knew before my hysterectomy then you may be facing one, or curious about having one. This blog will tell you so much about having one, if you still have questions after please do join the community here and use code SHINE so you get a month free and can see what we are all about.
Here’s a quick summary of things I wish I’d known before my hysterectomy, for more info on each one just keep scrolling.
Wtf a vaginal cuff is
You will be emotional
Infertility will probably affect you
You can still have children
It’s less painful than you think
Be careful of infections
Look out for signs of thrush
How you will go for a poop after
You could write a letter to your womb
There are different types of HRT
Sex might improve
What to wear after
You need to lift weights
You will probably bleed
You might be exhausted for months
It’s way more common than you think
You can’t drive
Book a beauty appointment
Your scars will fade fast
Your appointments might be on the maternity ward
You probably won’t get a follow up
You might still need progesterone
Supplements help, lifestyle matters more
You may need a laparotomy
Get as much support as you can
Okay, let’s dive in!
Wtf a vaginal cuff is?!
When you have your cervix removed during a hysterectomy they need to sew it up to keep everything in place, and that is where the vaginal cuff comes in. Not a great word, totally necessary. It shocks me how many people have no idea what this is, but before mine I didn’t know either!
You will be emotional
Emotions seem to take everyone in this community by suprise. When you have anesthetic it can affect your nuerotransmitters and it takes a while for them to go back to normal. Expect random episodes of crying! Then if you have had your ovaries removed the drop in hormones can cause you to feel emotional. Make sure you talk to your doctor and surgeon about where to get your HRT, before your surgery.
Infertility will probably affect you
Even if you have had your kids or made peace with not having children or having more children, there tends to be an unavoidable grief around infertilty. Try not to ignore this (as I did!) let yourself feel it. It’s a really tough thing to go through and you are allowed to grive your ferityl, even if it takes you by suprise.
You can still have children
Just not in the traditional way.
For some people, that might mean adoption. For others, it could be surrogacy. And for some, it might mean choosing not to have children at all and pouring that love into nieces, nephews, friends' children or the people around them.
There are so many different ways to have a huge impact on a child's life.
Personally, I always loved the idea of adoption, and I also explored surrogacy because it was something I really wanted to do at one stage.
Would it have been the journey I'd imagined for myself? No. But would I have loved that child any less because I didn't carry them? Absolutely not. If you're grieving the loss of carrying your own children, I know none of this takes that pain away. But I do want you to know that if you decide you still want to become a parent one day, there are different paths that can still lead you there.
It’s less painful than you think
This one surprises so many women. That's not to say your experience won't be painful, or that your feelings aren't valid if you do struggle, because everyone's recovery is different.
But the reality is that hysterectomy surgery has come a long way. In many cases, it's performed using keyhole surgery, which is minimally invasive because surgeons want you up and recovering as quickly as possible.
For a lot of women, the most uncomfortable part isn't actually the surgery itself, it's the trapped gas afterwards. If you've heard people talking about "gas pains", they're not exaggerating! The good news is that they usually pass within a few days. Gentle movement and peppermint tea can really help.
One thing I have noticed from speaking to women in the Rayse community is that many feel so much better after a few days that they accidentally overdo it. Please don't!
Even if you feel amazing on the outside, your body is still healing on the inside. Stick to your pain relief plan, avoid heavy lifting and give yourself permission to rest. Recovery isn't a race.
Be careful of infections
I picked up an infection in the hospital so I advise plenty of handwashing! I stayed in one night and honestly I wouldnt have wanted to stay in longer, you dont really want to be adding an infection in to your recovery! I had a fever which combined with the recovery was really not ideal.
Look out for signs of thrush
Its pretty standard for you to get surgical antibiotics before your hysterectomy which are to stop infections, but they can also cause thrush. This combined with the drop in oestrogen can mean bacteria can thrive. A local topic oestrrogen cream really helped me.
How you will go for a poop after
This post on bowel movements after a hysterectomy is pretty useful from the community.
“Feet up, and gentle rocking side to side helped me. And laxido sachets from the gp! It’s so scary but once you’ve unclogged that first bowel movement keep on top of the laxido sachets and eat fibre this has helped me a lot and I’m 10 weeks post op total hysterectomy”
“I found the laxido from the doctors helps me. It still is u comfortable but I’m much looser and not in as much pain. I don’t strain tho I just let it happen. Sorry if that’s TMI.”
I think these are great tips and an example of the kind of help you get inside the community when you ask questions!
You could write a letter to your womb
This definitely won't be for everyone, but I found it incredibly therapeutic.
One of the things I struggled with most was the thought of my womb just... going. Where does it go? It sounds like such a strange thing to get caught up on, but if you're reading this thinking, "I've wondered that too," you're not alone.
Before my surgery, I wrote my womb a letter. It was my way of saying goodbye and thank you. Thank you for being part of me, for everything it had done, and for carrying me through 30 years of life.
It became a little ceremony for me, and looking back, I'm so glad I did it. If you're finding it hard to process everything that's about to happen, it might be worth giving it a try. No one else ever has to read it. It's just for you.
There are different types of HRT
After my surgery, I was prescribed oestrogen gel, and I was so grateful to have it.
What nobody told me was that oestrogen isn't the whole picture. For years, I struggled with terrible insomnia, overwhelming exhaustion and just not feeling like myself. I was back and forth to the GP so many times, convinced something wasn't right, but I never knew to ask about testosterone or progesterone.
It wasn't until I trained as a Menopause Advisor and learnt more about HRT that I realised I needed to advocate for myself. Once I had those conversations with my healthcare team, everything started to make much more sense. That's one of the reasons I started sharing my story. I don't want women to feel like they have to just "put up with" symptoms because they think they're normal.
Everyone's HRT needs are different. The type of hysterectomy you've had, whether you've kept your ovaries, your age and your medical history all play a part in deciding what's right for you.
Even if you've kept your ovaries, they can sometimes take a while to wake up after surgery, and for some women they don't recover fully. If you're struggling with menopausal symptoms after your hysterectomy, don't be afraid to go back to your healthcare team and ask questions. You know your body better than anyone.
Sex might improve
This is especailly true if you had painful periods or suffered with a painful condition such as endo. So many people in the community report a better sex life post op. For me sex was never painful but I haven’t really noticed a change.
It feels the same to be and I can report I have asked my boyfriend if it feels different to other women he has been with and he has confirmed that it feels the same! We did a private live room about this subject and I was shcoked how many people worry about how it feels for a man but I can understand it ish so i hope this uts your mind at rest!
What to wear after
I love a nightie as its just lose but they can feel so unflattering! And not ideal if you want to pop out as you literally look like you have escaped a mental institution. So a pair of lose joggers are perfect or hareem pants. Something that sits just above your belly button as your cuts are likely to be just below, is perfect.
You need to lift weights
Goodbye HIIT, it was nice knowing you. When you enter surgical menopause your start to lose muscle mass quicker than you would have before. We had a great workshop with a PT about this which you can watch back here. You also need to lift weights to protect your bones. It will also be the primary way you will keep you weight manageable. I wish I loved lifting weights, I can tolerate it. I really eecommend ‘Life Not Fitness’ - you can find her on instagram here. She is a great PT and did me an online plan which really helped me with progressive overload (basically, lifting heavier and actually seeing results)
You will probably bleed
It’s quite normal to bleed after for up to 8 weeks, I actually didnt bleed at all! I know it can feel quite worrying seeingthe blood but it is normal. If you are worried I would contact your GP or call 111. Try and listen to your instincts here. You don’t want bleeding that soaks through a pad or comes with severe pain.
You might be exhausted for months
Scars heal pretty quickly, internally you are adjusting. Scar tissue is healing, organs are readjusting. Even if you feel and look okay on the outside rememeber that the inside is a different story.
It’s way more common than you think
Did you know 1 in 5 women in the UK has one? And in USA it’s 1 in 3! So you are so far from being alone, even though I know it can feel that way. It’s a bit of a tabboo subject, people dont really talk about it do they.
You can’t drive
You cant really drive after, firstly because of the anesthetic but secondly you need to be able to comfortably wear a seatbelt and also do an emergency stop. Once you feel happy you can drive its still worth checking with your insurance about it.
Book a beauty appointment
As part of my recovery I booked in getting my hair done. I did it on week two so I was happy to walk over (it wasnt far from my house) and sit in the chair reading for a few hours. it made me feel great! If you like getting your naisl done this is a great time to treat yourself.
Your scars will fade fast
I have been so suprised by how quickly my scars have faded and I have had open stomach surgery which means I have a big scar! I massaged mine with coconut oil but bio oil is pretty popular too.
Your appointments might be on the maternity ward
This one really shocked and upset me. I asked why I was on a maternity ward and they said ‘its all part of womens health’ when you are struggling with infertility grief its not what you want, but I hope at least reading this and being aware of it might help you.
You probably won’t get a follow up
This leads me on to, you might not even get a follow up. I survery ed everyone in the community and only 60% of people had a follow up and generally that was for people on the cancer pathway or becase they had an issue and needed a follow up. You can watch this TikTok here and see the results.
You might still need progesterone
Do not let GPs tell you ‘you dont need progesterone because you dont have a womb’ there is so much new research now and this needs a serious update. I say this as someone who had insomnia and 3am waking for YEARS and started proergertone 6 years post open and my sleep changed dramatically. I thought that was me forever, it doesn’t have to me!
If you have endo you actually will need the progesterone to balacne out the oestrogen. People with PMDD can be sensitive to progerstone so this is worth being cautious of, some people take it vaginally and you get less side affects.
Supplements help, lifestyle matters more
I take supplements now mainly Our Remedy magnesium and biotin for my hair skin and nails but I also take probitocis. However as much as I am a supplements fan, it’s your lifestyle more than anything.
I am really into a good ‘lifestyle recipe’ I don’t look at my phone when i wake up or before bed. I am kind to myself, I take breaks during work hours and walk after meals. I eat well and tink about my protein and fibire. I dont drink wine at home (I drink at the bars, I am not completley crazy) you will find what works for you but you will need to make adjustments, they can be small and happen over time.
You may need a laparotomy
I think it’s worth checking withyour surgeon what are the chances of this turning into a laparotomty because i have known people to go in thinking they are having key hole and then having to have open stomach surgery which totally changes the recovery. This leads me on to…
Get as much support as you can
You want to relax after. Get support from anyone open to offering it. Picking kids up, walking pets, prepping meals. Take it! If you do end up having a laparotomy then at least you are prepared. I prepped lots of fridge and freezer meals and I hired a cleaner for a month.
I hope these things I wish I knew before my hysterectomy help you! I would love to see you in the community
If you have any qurstions you can emaol me hello@raysecommunity.com
Rachel xx
